


a new world fool

by our--beginning (p_3a)



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Grooming, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Other, actual dad dojima ryotaro, adachi tohru is a bad man who does bad things, disaster ensues, hanamura yosuke is a good egg, jester social link, seta souji has an attachment disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 23:02:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21382042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/p_3a/pseuds/our--beginning
Summary: adachi seemed lonely.that's what souji seta thought, when he really looked at the situation.--this is absolutely not a smut fic of any kind; please don't click expecting that.
Relationships: Adachi Tohru/Seta Souji, Dojima Ryotaro & Seta Souji, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49





	a new world fool

**Author's Note:**

> by popular demand, somehow? i wrote on twitter that i'd written a vent piece and like 3 people said they wanted to see it (yes that counts as popular for me) so here it is
> 
> this is a True End timeline with canon events covering the Jester link and the events of November and December. it might not make much sense if you don't know spoilers for those months. it mentions, but does not take, the Accomplice End.
> 
> **trigger warning: this piece is about an adult rapist grooming and sexually abusing a vulnerable adolescent.**
> 
> as a result it covers the following, from the victim's perspective: emotional abuse, isolation tactics, underage drinking, nonsexual coercion, empathy for one's abuser, social self-isolation, drink spiking, implied date rape, social rejection by a parental figure, mental breakdown, nonconsensual kissing, an unhealthy relationship with sex, gun threats, and a physical altercation with the abuser.
> 
> **it also covers** friends looking out for the victim, the development of a healthier romantic relationship, the repair of a parental relationship, and the abuser ultimately meeting his canon fate of being sent to gaol.
> 
> worth noting: this absolutely is **a vent piece**. i'm really sorry if it's vague or hard to follow.

Adachi seemed lonely.

That's what Souji Seta thought, when he really looked at the situation.

The police officer was a family friend, a coworker of Souji's uncle and a regular visitor to their house. He always seemed chatty and social while he was there, but Souji had noticed over the months he'd been in Inaba so far that his uncle seemed to have some pretty firm boundaries that Adachi wasn't to cross, and that Adachi mostly seemed to learn about them by getting smacked when he crossed them. Then he'd go quiet, staring into the middle distance before excusing himself to the bathroom or, occasionally, home altogether...

Souji figured something was wrong, but it wasn't until he saw Adachi's favourite person at the store - an old lady with dementia who mistook him for her own son - finally work out he wasn't who she thought, and stop doting on him. Adachi took it hard.

He was lonely. So Souji resolved to fix that. It was what a good friend did, right? And there was nothing wrong with having adult friends. It's not like his parents were around to get fussy about it, after all.

He cooked Adachi meals and brought them to his apartment. Sometimes he'd stay and eat them with him; other times Adachi quite frankly seemed to want rid of him, but Souji was used to being seen as a nuisance by adults. He could take it.

Sometimes, they talked. About all sorts. Adachi would let Souji have a beer ("just one, and don't tell your uncle or I'm in deep shit, okay?") and they'd discuss the town, the people in it, and life in general. It always gave Souji plenty to think about - Adachi's views were odd, but ultimately most of the harm in them seemed to be aimed at himself.

Adachi was lonely, and he didn't like himself much. So Souji resolved to fix that, too.

But that was around the time his other friends - the friends Souji considered his "normal" friends, friends his own age, even if it wasn't "normal" to go around solving crimes inside a TV set - started acting a little odd around the topic. "Don't you think," Kanji said brashly one evening as they walked home together from hanging out, "it's a bit weird that he hangs out with a high schooler all the time?"

If anyone's weird, it's me, Souji thought. I'm the one choosing to hang out with him. But he didn't say it.

Sometimes the beer was stronger than he remembered, and once or twice, Souji fell asleep at Adachi's. He'd always wake up at home, though, and his uncle always reassured him that Adachi brought him home after he'd collapsed from a long day at school. "Are you sure you're eating enough?" Dojima had said, once, fixing Souji with a worried stare. Souji felt anger flare in his stomach, but he kept it to himself. What did Dojima care if he was eating? His uncle was never home for dinner anyway.

He ranted to Adachi about it later - out of character for him, as he rarely opened up, but perhaps it'd prompt Adachi to do the same. Instead, Adachi laughed and called Dojima stuck up. At least Souji agreed with him.

Then November came.

THE NEXT ONE TO GO IN WILL BE SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU.

What was that supposed to mean? Souji simmered, until he remembered that Dojima was there. Taken in for questioning. Right.

"We're kind of a family now..."

Souji realised, all at once, that Dojima was right. His parents had never cared. But Dojima had asked if he was eating. He'd asked about his grades. Almost every time they saw each other, he asked about Nanako. He cared. He cared, and that's what family did.

"...so I want you to tell me the truth."

Souji did.

The whole weird, scary truth. Because Dojima cared, and so did Souji, even if Dojima annoyed him sometimes with how he always seemed to pick the wrong things to worry over. He told him everything. And what did Ryotaro Dojima do to thank him?

Locked him in a cell overnight.

That'll teach me, Souji thought dryly.

Souji thought of Adachi. He wondered if Adachi would be by tonight. Unbidden, his mind conjured images of the kinds of favours Adachi might ask for in return. He was surprised by how easily he could imagine Adachi saying  _ you're pretty helpless right now, so you better do what I say _ .

He put it to the back of his mind and returned his thoughts to how Dojima hadn't even locked him in a cell with a bed.

Midnight came.

The Midnight Channel came.

It was Nanako.

What happened next was a disjointed blur. His friends came by, and Adachi was there, and there was a moment where they made eye contact with one another and Souji could barely process the weight of it. Something about it made him want to cry. He didn't have time to work out the why of it. They were in a taxi Naoto had brought, and they were almost in a crash, and then Dojima was there, and bleeding, and he reached out for Souji even though he'd just locked him away. Nanako wasn't here. Nanako wasn't here.

Yosuke and Kanji had to hold him back from climbing into the TV. Who cared? Who cared?? He would go in and he would save Nanako or he would die trying. Who cared about the rest?

The next few days were Souji's worst nightmare.

He was raw and messy and nothing he could do would hide it from his friends. He didn't want them to see. He didn't want them to know. He needed-- he needed to... he needed to make sure they thought highly of him, that they could rely on him, that he was everything they needed. Or he'd die. He needed that or he'd die. When he dropped Namatame onto the ugly hospital lino, he wanted nothing more than to break down and sob. But he needed them to know he was everything.

There was only one person he could show that side of himself to - the side that had feelings. It was the person who he knew was saddled with the same fear. The person who was always in his apartment at 11pm, not having eaten dinner, two beers in the fridge. Souji thought about those beers as he, shaking and hollow, stared at the concrete curb outside of the hospital. He wished he could teleport himself there so he could throw some of Adachi's crappy furniture into the wall and get shouted at and then, and then... maybe Adachi would sigh, and rest a hand on his shoulder. Maybe Adachi would tell him it was alright, and hold him. Maybe Adachi would understand, and...

The hand on his shoulder surprised him. He didn't know why he'd expected Adachi when he looked over; it was Yosuke.

Yosuke saw everything. Yosuke told him it was alright, and held him. Yosuke understood... and Yosuke cradled his head, and stroked his hair, and walked him home. Yosuke made him dinner and tucked him up in bed and stayed even without being asked, without being begged. Yosuke didn't once try to rest a hand on his knee, or his waist, or the back of his neck. When Souji couldn't sleep, he looked over and Yosuke was still there, dozed off upright on the sofa. When Souji couldn't stop crying, he looked over and Yosuke blinked awake, moving over to lie on top of Souji's covers and hold him soft and safe.

Safe. That's what was different about Adachi's place. He felt comfortable but he never, somehow, felt safe.

As though in a dream, Souji tried to kiss Yosuke.

"H-Hey... not right now, okay...? You're really... there's a lot going on, and... I want to... do things properly."

And Yosuke kissed his cheek.

Souji trembled through the night and not once did he let go of his partner.

It had always been Adachi he'd opened up to before now. They'd been birds of a feather - subject to Dojima's overbearing gaze, new to Inaba, and terrified of the loneliness that came with being an outsider in a rural village like this one. Souji had thought that helping Adachi would mean Adachi had to help him, too - a sort of mutually assured destruction where both were the key to the other's heart.

The morning frost bit at Souji's face. Naoto and Yosuke reasoned it all out while he listened from a million miles away. If it wasn't Yukiko's stalker, and it wasn't the mailman... then the only other person with opportunity, means, and motive...

"Adachi," Souji muttered, and it felt like the world went a little sideways.

The feeling was solidified when he went into the TV to go and... ugh. He didn't even know why he went, in the end. He thought he could talk sense into Adachi. Use their connection to make him realise he needed to do the right thing. But all that happened, even with their identical Personas, even with the echoing memories and painful empathy... all that happened was Adachi shot at him, figuratively and very, very literally. Proving the point he'd wanted to prove all along. Souji was useless and Adachi was alone.

He pressed the gun to Souji's forehead, sneering down at where he'd dropped when his knees gave way. Then he seemed to change his mind. He grabbed Souji's face in his hand like he was a thing and put his mouth on Souji's and Souji felt sick. He couldn't raise his hand. He couldn't move. He couldn't stop it. What was happening to him...?

"Haa," Adachi leered. "You're not even a good kisser when you're sober, Sou-kun. I don't know why I bothered with you."

Souji's voice wouldn't come.

"Run back to your little friends and call off the search," he said nonchalantly. "Or the next time, I won't be so nice."

But maybe the worst part was the fact that Yosuke was waiting for Souji when he came out of the TV.

He'd broken a rule: they never went in alone. Yet here Yosuke was with a calm, cool look on his face. He approached Souji and all that Souji could find in his face, despite searching again and again for bitterness or anger or jealousy, was concern.

It made Souji want to cry again. Instead, he kissed Yosuke. It was the only thing he could think to cleanse the sickness Adachi had left on his lips, and even though it was brief, it worked. He didn't feel dizzy any more - maybe Adachi was a mirror, but Yosuke was a lense, bringing the world into focus.

"Sorry," he murmured, then, "a lot of things happened."

Yosuke took both of his hands in his and squeezed them tight. "I care about you so much, Souji," he whispered. "So don't leave me again. Please."

Souji kissed him again. He couldn't listen to that desperate tone in Yosuke's voice any more. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to think about what Yosuke thought he was doing in the TV. He didn't want to think about why he went there. What he thought... how he... what Adachi wanted. Why Adachi had let him go rather than pulling the trigger when he'd pressed the muzzle of his gun to Souji's forehead. Why Adachi did what he did instead. He didn't want to think about what he would have preferred, given the chance to choose.

They walked back to Souji's house and... well. Souji's intention was to fuck Yosuke, to show him just how important he was and just how much he needed him. But it didn't turn out that way. They barely got in through the door before nausea overwhelmed Souji and he had to rush to the bathroom. Yosuke, to his surprise, followed - rubbing his back and stroking his hair and reassuring him as the tears naturally flowed once his body was done expelling his dinner, cradling his head and kissing where the gun had been pressed. He couldn't know, but he always did the right thing. Yosuke always did the right thing.

Souji didn't deserve him.

"Hey," a bleary Yosuke asked, a few hours later as they lay on the sofa together. Souji couldn't bring himself to go to bed like usual, so they'd simply lay down in the living room. "You know you can tell me anything... right? I won't... I'll always be here for you, Souji. You know that."

Souji hated how long it took him to muster the, "yeah, Yosuke. You're... you're my partner."

"Right. Your partner forever, got it?"

Yosuke hugged him tight.

"I'll never let you face that creep alone again. I promise."

Souji felt a pang of guilt strong enough to make him shake, but he kept it down. Yosuke was taking it all on himself again when it was Souji. Souji fucked up. Souji thought he had some-- weird-- special connection, he guessed. Souji thought he could talk sense into the fucking serial killer he'd inadvertedly befriended. Egotistical, selfish bullshit - and just like always, Yosuke drank it up, soaked up all the mistakes Souji made and took them into himself. Souji couldn't stand it.

"I shut you out," he said. "I'm sorry, Yosuke. You don't deserve the way I treated you."

"Souji," Yosuke soothed, "I could tell you were in trouble. You were acting weird... I'm just glad you didn't do anything to protect that creep."

Souji's skin feels cold suddenly. He'd felt so sick when he held that note in his hands. THE NEXT ONE TO GO IN WILL BE SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU. It was the only piece of concrete evidence tying Adachi to the murders. And there Adachi had been, right in the room, looking at him.

He'd been so close.

"Me too," he whispered.

He'd held onto the note. It was in Tokyo right now, in an evidence locker, along with DON'T SAVE ANYONE ANY MORE. But he couldn't tell Yosuke how close he'd been, under Adachi's burning gaze, to spreading that fire. This was, after all, the man that had looked Saki Konishi in the eye and killed her anyway. Yosuke would never forgive him if he knew.

He refused to start crying again, so instead he bit his lip until it bled.

The battle was both harder and easier than he thought. He realised now something that set him apart from Adachi that he'd never noticed before. Souji wasn't scared. He'd jumped into the TV back in April without hesitation. He'd befriended Yosuke and Chie, even as he struggled not to bunk off school in favour of hiding in his room and never speaking again. He'd faced the situation with Nanako head on, even knowing she may not pull through.

Tohru Adachi, on the other hand, was a coward.

Yosuke looked agonised as it became clear their only option was to send Souji alone to meet him. He'd promised, after all. But Souji didn't mind. He expected promises to be broken. Besides, the light show on the way in had made it clearer why Adachi never shot him the day before. He was a coward. He wanted all the power, but how much power was there to be had over a dead body that couldn't even beg you to stop? Maybe that's why he stopped killing girls once he started date-raping Souji.

Tohru Adachi was a coward. Souji wasn't.

Not that it made it easier to see his face again.

His stomach dropped when he laid eyes on Adachi's stupid rat face and his stupid bad haircut and his horrible little grin. But instead of plummeting into fear like it had when he held SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU in his hands, all he felt now was rage.

He didn't know what possessed him to headbutt a man wielding a gun. Probably Izanagi. But they were tumbling on the ground and fists were flying. Not Adachi's. Souji's. Again and again. He wanted to knock teeth out. He wanted to make it so Adachi can never say  _ I know how you feel _ ever again. He wanted to make it so Adachi's lip was so split that he'd never kiss anyone again without it hurting him too.

But Souji wasn't a coward. And that meant he wasn't a killer. As Adachi's consciousness faded, he stopped.

Suddenly he felt sick. He scrambled away, leaving his mirror image in the dirt; and he breathed deep, trying not to let it show. To not cry. To not throw up. He managed it. Just.

He wanted to go home.

But Ameno-Sagiri had other plans. He almost gave up. He would have if Yosuke and the others hadn't rejoined him. At least it gave him something to focus on. And once Adachi was free, they could turn him in.

Seeing the prison van doors close should've felt good. But Souji just wanted to sleep.

He did. For at least two days. He was aware of Yosuke visiting and caring for him; of Teddie doing the same. He was aware of his oji-san coming home. The oji-san he'd brushed aside so many times throughout the year. But hadn't Dojima done the same to him?

They hugged when they were reunited. Souji wished he hadn't cried, but when he did, he was glad they were alone.

"Hey now," Dojima said. "What's this for? I was only at the hospital. You can't have missed me that much."

Souji shook his head. It wasn't that. It was everything. He just needed someone who understood. Someone else who saw Adachi as more than just a lame cop. Someone else who... who...

He didn't know. He didn't know what he needed. But Dojima patted his back and made him a cup of coffee and they watched Loveline together, and that was close enough.

**Author's Note:**

> reminder: this absolutely is **a vent piece**. i am _not_ looking for criticism on it, constructive or otherwise. i am _not_ looking to hear in the comments about how you think it's unrealistic or contrived. i am _definitely_ not looking to hear about how it's ~problematic~; it's a piece about ~problems~, and it's supposed to make the reader uncomfortable in parts.
> 
> i don't mind if you didn't like it, just please express that among yourselves and not to me.
> 
> moderation is on; comments in contradiction to this will be deleted without being published. i may turn commenting off in future.


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